Dare to Blossom Life Coaching with Mary Lunnen

In this Issue: 

Reflections: allowing the flow
Events: Winter Magic Carpet Ride Workshop: "Review, Reflect, Re-Vision"
Your coaching package
Inspirational links


Reflections: allowing the flow

Laughing at myself a little ruefully as I write this:it is now 4.30 p.m. on Monday. I intended today to be a writing day. I said to someone this morning that I would be working on the latest book, then I remembered that I needed to start work on this newsletter to send out to you on Friday. And then.... well, you know the story, with your own variations: shopping, doctor's appointment, going back to collect medication as the dispensary wasn't open, emails to deal with, accounts to update, a friend to contact. Not procrastination exactly, but a version of it. (You may have seen this TED talk before? Inside the mind of a master procrastinator by Tim Urban)

The title 'Allowing the flow' popped into my mind as I was setting up the outline for this month's missive to you. Now I come to write about it, I need to explore what I mean by that. Or do I? Maybe it doesn't matter what I mean, or anyone else, by those words, they are simply words. Today I have seen two pieces in my on-line meanderings - both inspiring and thought provoking: one from Nick Williams on resistance. (This is a link to a Facebook Live piece, I am not sure if it will be accessible to you, if not you will find Nick writes about this subject in his blog too).Then this afternoon Lucinda Drayton shared this piece on Surrenderfrom her blog last year.

Allowing the flow, feels - for me - to be about a balance, a tension even, between those two things: resistance, and surrender. There are many meanings of the word 'resistance' - and I was interested to see that it derives from the Latin verb meaning 'to hold back'. To surrender is to cease resisting. Whereas 'allow' comes from "the Latin allaudare to praise, reinforced by medieval Latin allocare to place." (all definitions and meanings from the Oxford English Dictionary).

All these words, and the experiences they describe can be valuable. For today, I return to exploring 'allowing the flow'. I am intrigued by those two Latin roots: 'to praise' and 'to place'. Add to those one of the definitions, of which there are several, of the verb 'to allow': "Give the necessary time or opportunity for." - and I feel a connection back to flow - to giving time or opportunity for this to happen. The addition of that word 'necessary' - highlights for me that maybe I am sometimes unrealistic, too hard on myself perhaps, when I expect myself to be able to simply step into the flow. Whether that be something like writing, creating art, meditating..... or anything else, maybe it is necessary to give permission, to give time, to give opportunity?

Another thought arose for me: that sometimes flow is just that, flow. It needn't be a means to an end. I mentioned writing and art - I have a habit with those, and maybe even with meditation, to judge myself harshly if I do not produce something to show for having been in the flow; for having taken that time, used that opportunity. Does 'allowing the flow' also include the possibility of simply being there, as well as, sometimes, doing?

An image comes to mind - that of a wave: in physical reality the water in the wave doesn't actually move forward, simply rotates in a circular motion, until the wave reaches shallow water and breaks (if you are interested in the science behind this have a look here). It is the energy that moves across the ocean, rather than the wave. If I was out in the ocean I could allow the waves to flow by. Unless my boat was powered by wind or an engine, or carried by ocean currents, I would just bob up and down as the waves passed underneath me. Whereas in a river - the water is moving downstream, following a path determined by gravity and influenced by the obstacles in its path.



Several days later...... 

Returning to this piece to finish writing to you, I felt what I had written might not make sense, and not 'flow' at all. As I re-read my efforts to get to grips with the concept of 'allowing the flow', I saw that I was writing about precisely that: the allowing. And all the things that may get in the way of simply 'allowing'. The resistance. The temptation to surrender in a potentially negative way, that way of saying 'Oh, I give up!' when something is not going how I think it should.

And... I didn't give up, I went away for a while. I spent a wonderful afternoon with a dear friend visiting the Japanese Garden at St Mawgan. It was a dull misty afternoon, there were very few people in the garden, in fact for much of the time I think we had the whole place to ourselves. It was too early in the autumn for the dramatic colours, and too late for the blossoms - so we could really appreciate all the shades of green, the textures and shapes of the trees and their foliage. And the mosses, grasses, bamboo, rocks, sculptures......



I felt myself dropping down into peace, into stillness. Away, in fact, from any sense of flow. Simply being in the stillness of nature. A stillness that was not static - the wind was blowing at different places in the garden, the leaves rustling, the grasses moving. While we were standing looking at this view across the pool, the wind started playing the most deeply moving song on the wind chimes, as Sharon said, the effect was as powerful as that of a gong bath.



And we sat here by the raked gravel garden for a while, on either side of a beautiful wooden buddha. So many memories here for me as I visit regularly with different people. Some of those memories go back to sitting in these quiet spaces with my mother a number of years ago now.



This dropping down, into the peace within, seems for me to circle back around to 'allowing the flow'. It feels to me, now, to be connected with the circular flow of life - not only outside myself and my body, but within. My blood circulating through my veins and arteries, through my heart and lungs, keeping me alive; my breath flowing in and out, in and out.

The final photograph to share from the garden is this one: and I did not realise the true message for me until I saw it on the computer after downloading from my camera. Somehow the light gives the effect, the impression, the feeling that the koi carp could be swimming overhead, in the sky.



The sensation of dropping down, going within, is now - for me - opened up, turned around. 'Within' is linked to 'without' - not in the sense of lack, but rather the external. Interior space connected to the greater universe around: the place where down can be up; up can be down. So, I am now feeling I need to finish this piece, and not knowing really where to finish. My earlier anxieties, resistance, surrender, definitions, discussion have all led me here to this place of allowing, allowing the flow of life. Moving through life as I moved through the gardens, and at the same time being still within.

As a final thought, it was even later that I noticed the single tiny golden leaf floating on the surface of the water, showing that this was in fact water and not the sky, and for me, providing a subtle link back to last month's reflections on 'reap your harvest' and my thoughts of the golden nuggets I have collected throughout the years.

For you, for your journal or meditation practice:
- what does 'allowing the flow' mean to you? Maybe flow write or meditate on those words
- what emerges for you?
- what gifts can you find within?
- do you wish to paint, draw, collage - express this visually in some way?


Your coaching package

My new package of flexible monthly support is now available. Two coaching conversations a month: choose one hour or 30 minute slots. You can book and pay for one month at a time to ensure you have the ability to adjust to time and budget, and at the same time arrange the continuity of commitment to your own growth and development.

For full details visit the website here.If you would like to talk before booking: to ask any questions you may have, and to check out how I work and if it feels right for you - with no obligation to buy - simply contact me to book your initial (free) consultation.

Events: Winter Magic Carpet Ride Workshop: "Review, Reflect, Re-Vision"

This will be confirmed very soon, once I have visited our new venue on Monday and confirmed the booking, and then full details will be on my website and Facebook pages, here is a date for your diary:

Date: Saturday 19th November
Time: arrive from 9.30 am, 10.00 am start, 1.00 pm finish.
Venue: The Blue Lotus Therapy Centre, Scorrier, Redruth, Cornwall (NB still to be confirmed)
Price: £25.00 per person (book via the website or contact me direct by replying to this email)

Spend some time with a group of like-minded people to look back over your year so far; to review and reflect; and then to look forward into 2017. Full details will be provided on the workshop page and through a Facebook event page next week.

Dare to Blossom at Home workshops can be booked at any time: if you are in Cornwall or west Devon and are interested in exploring the option to host a group of friends in your own home, have a look at the website here and contact me so we can arrange a chat to discuss what you would like.

Inspirational Links

This month I am sharing the websites of two dear friends. Each of them I met through a series of synchronicities and mutual connections.

Sharon Whittock is a image consultant and fashion feng shui advisor (don't you just love that idea? I do!). Here is her beautiful website, do take time to browse and read about her story and all she has to offer.

And here is Mary McConnell, a massage therapist, reiki healer, and health coach. She also has a blog here.