Reflections: Coming Home
Sitting in the garden on a rare (for this winter) sunny day, wondering what the theme will be for my reflections this month. Smiling at myself - wrapped up in layers of warm clothes - and a sun hat. There is a chill wind blowing in the trees around me. It feels like a March wind even though it is still February as I write. Crows cawing; small birds singing; two young cats (no longer really kittens) playing rough and tumble nearby.
I can also hear hammering from work on the conversion of old farm buildings, saving them from decline and ruin and giving them a useful purpose once more. Observing, observing not only the sights and sounds around me - ooh, the flutter of a sparrow's wings almost ruffles my hair as it shoots past low over my head. Observing also my chain of thoughts - that take me next to remembering that despite the conversion of the buildings, we have seen barn owls again recently. And what a glorious full moon has been shining the last few nights.
Not random thoughts, even if the chain that links them seems tenuous or even disconnected. They are, in reality, very much connected. Linked to this place, this physical place, my home for almost forty years now. And connected with my internal home, myself. This past year, in fact the past several years - have been a process of coming home to myself.
Only very recently, as I continue to focus on refreshing and renewing my coaching work under Dare to Blossom, has this seemed to open out into new potential. Into the rediscovery, not only of myself, but of my power within, my sovereignty (to use one of my words for this year).
This has been about recognising and reclaiming many lost or overlooked parts of myself - and about reintegrating them into my life. I was going to say 'my working life', but my intention is to create a life. A life that includes work and that also has a good balance of all the other things that are important to me. Now, for me, (unlike in the past) I feel there is no separation between these essential aspects of me, and my business.
Art, creativity, health, spirituality, family, friends, walking, nature, reading - all these things are part of me - part of the 'myself' I am coming home to at last. Including the work I love to do. I have begun to realise that all my past experience is becoming integrated - many of those experiences have been uncomfortable, even painful at the time. I don't believe that bad experiences are necessary, but they are the way most of us learn what we need to know - in coping, in finding strength within we had no idea we possessed, in coming through.
The more I allow myself to live a life I love, to allow it flow with ease and grace (my other two words for this year) - then the more I have to offer to others.
For you, to reflect in your journal or meditations:
- which missing parts of yourself are you longing to reclaim?
- childhood pastimes
- Art, writing, nature, walking, skipping, collecting stamps.........
- how can you bring some of these back into your life? (you could choose one to start with and then, once you have had a play with that, try another if you wish)
Some of this exercise can be revealing, and yes, maybe a little painful if you are reminded of missed opportunities. Be gentle with yourself and have fun with the activity you choose to begin with. As one of my tag-lines goes 'Live a life you love. Start here, start today - if not now, when?'
To end these reflections I would like to thank once again all the amazing coaches and supporters I have around me - each of you has offered me something unique and special. I thank you from the bottom of my heart. Here is the poem, by John O'Donohue, that originally inspired me to think it was even possible to 'come home to myself':
"To come home to yourself.
May all that is unforgiving in you
May your fears yield their deepest tranquilities
May all that is unlived in you blossom
into a future graced with love."